A couple weeks ago I went in for my usual blood work to check my levels and see if I ovulated. I awaited the phone call knowing it might not be for a couple days. I'm always hopeful but nervous and unsure if I want to hear what they have to tell me. The next day I was at work and had just sent Trevor a text telling him how scared I was to hear back from the doctor. (Might I just say again he is the sweetest and I don't know how I got so lucky to have him by my side.) I really was hopefully that this time I would actually ovulate, I had a good feeling. Right then my phone rang and I was told this round of medicine was unsuccessful as well. I was immediately upset and in tears but knew I had to pull myself together since I still had a full work day ahead of me. I was mad and disappointed with my body. My eyes watered all day. It's these days I just have to tell myself it's okay to be sad it's okay to cry and be upset but tomorrow will be a new day and I will be okay.
The past couple weeks have been some of those bad days and very discouraging. It's frustrating because I'm over feeling like complete crap all the time. I'm tired of being nauseous all the time or not having an appetite. I'm tired of taking pills everyday twice a day. I'm exhausted from planning and timing everything. Sounds dramatic and I know I am being just that but I am allowed to have bad days and be over whelmed right? But I know every bad day leads me one day closer to the day I wait for. Our day will come and we will get to add one more little one to our crazy bunch. As of now I have three wonderful men in my life that keep me smiling and on my toes and I am blessed.
Wish us luck and send positive vibes as we get closer to starting the next round of clomid.
Thank you everyone for the love and support thus far!
XOXO
Emily
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